spam

I AM MR. KATSUNORI NAGAYASU PRESIDENT OF TOKYO MITSUBISHI UFJ BANK. I'VE A BUSINESS PROPOSAL FOR YOU CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

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this was posted to my domain email. which i used for formal purposes. who the hell is MR. KATSUNORI?

benarkan aku untuk berdiri

‎"...Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; and perhaps you will be grateful." (2:185)

langit seakan memahami perasaan ku,

turut mendung bersama,

turut menagis bersama.

lipan menyengat telunjuk kiri ku,

katanya padaku derita itu aku,

aku suka memberi diriku pada mereka yang berani hidup.

aku yang kini terbaring di antara pentas bumi
tidak bisa berbangga di bulan mulia ini,
kerana masih banyak yang perlu ku perbaiki.

tak perlu sedu sedan lagi,
semuanya telah terjadi,
kupetik bintang itu agar tidak ia lebih hanyut ditelan galaksi.

bukan ini pinta ku pada mu Tuhan,

tetapi aku redha dengan muhsibah ini,

masih ada ruang untuk ku perbaiki.

Biar susah sungguh
mengingat Kau penuh seluruh
ku berdoa pada mu Tuhan

dengan segala tujuh petala langit dan bumi
sesungguhnya ku sungguh kerdil diantaranya berdiri.

bicara alam

Aku mahu aman,
aku lari dari pergaulan.
Aku mahu kasih,
aku hindar pergaduhan.
Aku mahu tenang,
aku rapatkan perhubungan.

satu demi satu bicara alam ingin aku tafsirkan,
kesinambungan lampau dan masa hadapan,
dengan setiap perbuatan yang mengaibkan,
tidak lagi mampu aku sorokkan.
itu semua karma,
aku benci pada karma.

bak kata sasterawan A.Samad Said,
segala yang dihasrat tapi tak didapat,
adalah nikmat yang paling padat.

awalnya bergitu tergantung,
akhirnya juga tergantung.
Aku ingin membiasakan yang betul,
dan memperbetulkan yang biasa.

Jadi larilah, larilah sejauh mahumu,
Pergilah, pergilah dari sisiku,
kejarlah, kejar apa mahu mu,
ikut kata hatimu yang satu.

andai engkau sesat mencari jalanmu,
kembalilah, kembali pada yang SATU,
kerna aku selalu mendoakan dirimu di dalam setiap doa ku.

forgiveness

emptiness is the reason why most people do a lot of bad things,
forgiveness is all i can give.

journey is a learning process,
betrayal and love are the bittersweet of life,
rose upon us like an adventure of a fantasy novel,
has no allaying of mortality.

This boy

Prologue

"i want to built an empire, will be ruled by me but nobody know exactly who i really am. i can walk by the street without worrying people would stalk me."

Financial responsibility

No, money can’t buy love, but you’d be amazed how much trouble financial irresponsibility can cause. Does his career provide a lifestyle you’re comfortable with? Does she handle her money wisely? What about you? Think about this one carefully.

Alter bridge

"...She opened her mouth to swallow The Love of the Lovers, but could not close her lips, because her lips was full of poison;the Poison of Soma...Venom of the Kings...

There were Hills in the distance; nearby much happiness there was


where the Poison was change by a Holy Man to the Lotus of Wisdom


at the peak of her heart; were the Flower of Amity as gift for her Lover, The Patriarch..."


(page 275, Venom of The Kings,chapter 37:The Tabernacle of Melati& Mala-Lodgekeeper's Diary)

just pretend. nobody will know

smile Afdal. keep on smiling, no mater what the outcomes. just pretend it, fake it and people gonna believe it. :)

haunting memoir

Sorrow and despair
From ruin and from change, and all the grief
The passing show of being leave behind.

No harsh reflection let remembrance raise,
Forbear to mention what thou canst not praise.

Summers pleasure they are gone like to visions everyone
And the cloudy days of autumn and of winter cometh on.
I tried to call them back but unbidden they are gone
Far away from hearth and eye and for ever far away.

If i could call them back, it wouldn't be any future
So let it be, let it flow
like a river bank, it will end slow
but for a better ending i wish i can hold
at least a little consideration waiting in a row.


i hope i didn't spent my wits in a useless hunt....

ding dong thong in a song

It's been awhile i didn't catch morning breeze, refreshing. I miss this feeling. what missing is one opposite sex body and the sound of bird chipping on the tree. no more breakfast on bed, toasted bread with butter and a couple cup of Milo. replace all that with KL hectic life, traffic jammed, and less green views. i'll get used to it.

i read a wall post by a friend of mine 2 days ago.

"the most cruel thing done by women is when they make a man fall in love with them, but in the same time they still love their current boyfriend." Kamarul Nadzreen

nobody should be blame. but at least, consideration must have been taken at the first place. people's feeling. my rule of unconditional love is no longer reasonable. the absent of her is at everywhere i looked. im tired of playing hide and seek.

a normal man would have withdraw from the field sooner than me.

if life were meant to give experience to us, then we would experience love, peace, happiness and joy. but all of these feelings has the other side of it. Heartache, loneliness, pain, sadness and sorrow. the dark time of life. but the dark will never last. the sun will always rose in the morning.

"if the moon can linger around on days and night,

why shouldn't the sun had the chance too?"

open this link

http://malaysia.youthsays.com/afdal/lgflashgame

untitiled 2

He sew it up with the pain of death,
He never knew it would be that hard,
Silent scream come through the head,
He said it's time to heal the pain.

He light a cigar on his hand,
Puff out the smokes out to the air,
Nobody dare to be on his way,
He said it's time to set a path.

Calm down, he gonna make it better,
No need to fire it up more higher,
Taken the lead role on the roadway,
Everybody will follow his way.

beach view for tonight

How i wish i could bring you along tonight..enjoying the view and the breeze together. where we wont need to be worry if people saw us having a good time. walking along the shore, drawing our love sign on the sand, kissing you in public..... stop dreaming afdal!

bang!, bang! guns down

If i could turn tears into words, then people would understand how it feels.

i need some wall

Dear god, give me the strength to face the outcomes. i really need a thick wall to block any sad feeling for not having things that are not fully mine. or for best, give me a sign to choose the path which i should follow... i'm weak..

Four duck on a pond,
A grass-bank beyond,
A blue sky of spring,
White clouds on the wing;
What a little thing
To remember for years -
To remember with tears.

I felt it again

these past few days had put me into some kind of shield. the shield that gave me a peace of mind. i sat and opened some religious books recently and i found some useful facts. i believe in karma, what goes around comes around. but we'll see, we'll see how it goes.

Prayer...it's been a long time i didn't perform prayer. it is still not to late to choose a path. It was a moment of bliss, peace, and tranquility. it clears the smokes out. the blueprint are shown in detail. it didn't solve the problem but it helps a lot in term of self restoration. may it last.......

chill is not a word for me

sometimes sorry just not enough..but im sorry..i didn't know it will turn out that way.

Awake

you came and dancing on my mind this morning

:')

when i miss you, i re-read our old conversation and smile...(':

confused or worried?

The breeze sometimes trying to tell me something. confused, yet worried. i don't know which way to go. it never be the same if i let it go now. all i can do now is wait and keep waiting until my heart said enough.

thanks for the home cook

i wish everyday was like today.

the king with his crown

I once read someone wrote that "The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one you love, love someone else". its getting harder when it all happened in front of you and you just pretending that you don't give a fuck about it. This headache is like a crown for me. it kept covering my head whenever i confront with these situation. the last time i suffered from it, it was the worst ever. hours of pain, couldn't get on my feet. whenever i opened my eyes it goes blank.
The medication only gonna give you a short relive. that the reason for dumping all those pills.

hitler or fuhrer?

The last time i saw her, she was in a car, heading out from the hostel. The absent of her is at everywhere i looked. I cant sleep without my blanket and i cant be a pillow without her using me. It's nice when things are easy, but this time the situation is complicated. I was not the one who makes decision. She did.

In the era of Nazi's, the assassination of Hitler or Fuhrer did not turn well as Fuhrer did survive from it. now the idea is still the same but Fuhrer was not a part of the idea. Fuhrer must live for some reason. right now, I'm listening to a song that telling me literally that consistency is a fatal flaw. well, in my opinion it has to be that way. consistency would make ones life be damn boring. what is life without one knowing the feeling of heartache, bitterness and sorrow? it wouldn't be so called roller coaster ride if these feeling doesn't exist.

Fate is not something that we cant control. as a matter of fact, we can. i'm not gonna forget coz the chasing is still on.